Back to the Grind

Yup, School of Mines is back in full force. I'm just about to start week 4, and honestly, this may be my most challenging semester yet. I'm already so tired, and have been working harder than ever just to keep up. I can't imagine what will happen when tests start. I've got 18 technical credits this semester, essentially the rest of my Civil degree. Scheduling was a pain this year. Next semester will be a few last liberal arts classes to round out the degree, and either a few classes towards a Humanitarian Minor or starting my graduate work. After talking to the guys at work this summer, I decided to pursue graduate work here at School of Mines in Engineering Technology Management (essentially project management). Helps a lot at a smaller firm where we don't have dedicated business people to keep the financial and organizational side of things straight. So anyhow, if I take a few of those classes now, I can keep my load next year down to 12/semester, which is generally considered average. That'd be nice.

Beyond the classes, I also have the Fundamentals of Engineering Exam coming up at the end of October. It's not supposed to be very hard, once you've spent 4 years at Mines, but I'm still spending a good bit of time studying for it, just to refresh on everything.

And on top of that, working for SpecOps, the coffee cart, the disabilities office (which is a sweet job, the school is paying me to take notes in a class for a visually impaired student.. score!), on call for SEH if they need me... Anyhow, you get the idea. Life is hectic.

Thankfully, I'm adapting pretty well to 6h sleep a night. Not ideal by any means, but I'm adjusting. I get to see Laura almost every day, we have one class together and we eat lunch on the other days. God has provided, is patient with me, loves me like I've never known. I'm now a "Team Leader" with theMILL at Northern Hills, which means I help organize and coordinate setting things up. That's always fun, and a nice mundane mindless thing to do to end the week. We had swing dancing after theMILL this past week, which was a blast.. got to teach a lot of friends some of the basics. Not that I'm qualified to teach anyone. I also get to man a booth at the Career Fair this year, instead of trying to find a job. I guess they liked me enough at SEH to offer me a position once I'm done with school. That's a huge blessing right there. (Oh, by the way, I didn't mention it, working this summer went very well).

Everyone in the house is getting along great (a nice perk, since we had Ben move in to fill the spot Jon left a few months ago).. although I really need to take the next chance I get to clean the floor. I really appreciate the guys we've got though, laid back, clean up after themselves, hardworking. A great group. I'll be sad to see Ryan and maybe some others move on after this year. At least Michael, Ben, Jeff and I will be staying to finish undergrad work or for grad school. (yay for not moving!)

I suppose that's a decent update. Certainly not everything that's on my mind, but the vast majority of you don't care about deformation optimization of statically indeterminate bridge spans. So... I'm done.

Summertime

Well, Summertime is supposedly here. Supposedly not because it isn't, but because it truly hasn't hit me yet. I keep expecting to come out of what has now become a very extended weekend and to have homework and classes the next day. Instead, classes are done, I'm living in Pueblo, and work begins tomorrow (at 8AM.. some of you are laughing right about now). (I'm interning for SEH, a Civil Engineering Firm out of Minneapolis with offices in Pueblo [my hometown] and Denver [close enough to Golden for a daily commute]).

Got through finals, they really weren't that bad as a whole, I'm still waiting on grades to come back.. I'm not expecting the best grades from this semester, had a few very difficult classes I had to take simultaneously with the pre-requisites and such. But that said, I'm going to pass everything, and I might get some nice grades depending how the curves fall. We'll see.

Spent a few days taking care of things around the house, and then relaxing a bit.. and packing up for an indefinite period of living at home before I am shuttled back and forth from the Pueblo office to Denver. There have been ideas thrown around about spending a few days per week in either office, but nothing is definite yet, and I'll end up where they tell me to go. So packing was interesting. And, despite all my best intentions, I somehow forgot every set of shoes I own, all left in Golden. Which is going to be fun. (I'm borrowing shoes for the meantime.)

Saturday morning, Laura and I left for home.. I dropped her off with her family in Colorado Springs, while I continued to Pueblo. And to be frank, it was one of the hardest things I've done. Laura has become such a blessing and a joy to me, it's unbelievable. Over the past three months, she's really become indispensable to me, helpful in so many ways, a great friend, a confidant, such an encouragement and a joy. And while I understand that this summer is only a short time away from her (even over the summer I'll get to visit), the innermost parts of me cry out that I should do everything I can to hold onto her, keep her right by my side like she has been the past months. She is so infinitely precious to me.

So because of this, when we said goodbye, I got back in the car, and just sat there for a few minutes to try and halfway compose myself. I saw her beginning to walk away, towards her family, and then running and leaping into her mom's arms, twirling and with incredible joy on her face. While that moment hurt, it was also reassuring to know how wonderful her family is to her (and to me!), how much she loves them. And that moment gave me the strength to continue my drive home. It's only been two days, and I miss her like nobody's business. I round corners hoping she'll be just on the other side, or that I'll hear her voice. But God reassures me that distance has it's purpose and is needed just as much as proximity, that separation leads only to strengthening, and that He has not brought us together trivially to leave us in a desert. So hope remains, faint as it is under waves of emotion.

Anyhow, Summer is about to begin.. and if I'm to be coherent for 8AM, I'll need to end this here,. I've got more thoughts coming, so hopefully the blog will be a bit more active in the near future.

A long road ahead

Well, upon much prodding, I'm quasi-updating the blog. It's Finals weekend, so everything is hectic, but I'll throw in a few thoughts:

I still have a lot to learn. These past months have pointed this out to me to an incredible degree. As ridiculous as it seems now, I looked at my life a few months ago, and thought that to a degree, I'd arrived. I had my life in order, financially secure, almost finished with college, lived responsibly in a nice house, etc, etc. Most importantly of course, I had a vibrant and healthy relationship with God. Can't forget that. Anyhow, I was very happy with my life.

As I've been reminded, through circumstance as well as times where God has directly said "Hey, check this out", I've still got a long way to go.. Especially emotionally. When faced with deep emotions, my responses are often selfish, childlike, immature. I'd like to think sometimes that I've got life handled, but the past months have showed me many times when I know I don't. It's a good thing, but painful sometimes.

One of my favorite quotes is by John Newton.

"I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am"

I'm not sure where else I was going to go with this, and I'd really best get to studying.. I'll update this throughout the week, in theory.

Ah, theory.